The Commonwealth Iconoclast

A site dedicated to covering issues relevant to the Commonwealth of Virginia, and nation at large, plus other interesting things too, as I see fit...

Monday, November 27, 2006

If God shopped… he (she) would shop at Wal Mart…
























Wal Mart is God!

Or at lest... our friend the all mighty dollar!!!

You are getting sleepy… very sleepy….

Go buy some stuff at Wal Mart…




I love Wal Mart… (oh, by the way... happy holidays!).

I love everything about Wal Mart…

I love the approach to the parking lot! It is so big and inviting. I start to drool as I take in the first vision of that big, beautiful, box like building… full of familiar but yet unknown treasurers.

I came to get eggs… but yet… there is a perceptible increase in my heart beat… an unmistaken rush of anticipation.

I know that if I am lucky, I will find a parking space within a hundred yards or so of the main entrance of that temple of consumer delights. If not… well… who really gives a sh…! I will park where ever I have to… just to get my Wal Mart fix!

I even love the smell when I walk in the big doors... packing boxes, freshly pealed open with a box cutter knife by practiced shelf stockers.

Ummm... so comforting...

Yes… perhaps I sometimes feel guilty… I am fully aware that I really don’t need anything but the eggs I came for, but know that I will find something else… a treasure that will gratify my lust for consumption. Maybe some especially appealing deal will jump out at me… some unbelievably attractively priced garden hose… some fantastically beautiful lawn furniture competitively priced or not… and, of course, some really cool toys for the kids.

The eggs? Oh yeah... the eggs... I will try to remember...

What is there not to like about Wal Mart?

It makes me happy! The stuff... yes... the stuff...

But there is more...

The people… I really like the people. They, the Wal Mart associates (sometimes mistaken for employees), obviously like their jobs. Hell no… they love their jobs… Some of them love their jobs so much that they go way beyond what might be considered normal retirement years just so they can bring joy to consumers like me. They stand at the door and greet me with such enthusiasm. It is like they have the perfect job… just standing there and smiling at me… giving me the self-affirmation I need to take the whole experience in…

These are obviously “people people” who enjoy the joy of selling stuff to people who truly need some stuff...

Number six? No!!! I am not a number... or maybe... yes... I suppose I could be... Where was I?

I don't really crave the stuff...

I can stop any time I want... I just don't want to... at least right now...

The cart… it is so big and… yes… so inviting... I feel warm and comfortable...

Pile in the stuff… lots of stuff…

So… what is this disturbing news we are seeing coming out of Roanoke County?

It seems that some crazy people out in Roanoke County are questioning the advisability of building another quarter million square foot Wall Mart store.

Why?

Who cares about traffic?

Who cares about impacts on surrounding neighborhoods?

Why would anyone question Wal Mart?

So what if Wal Mart sucks massive amounts of disposable income out of the Roanoke Valley and sends it by wire transfer to Arkansas every day?

So what if Wal Mart undercuts local businesses until they go bust?

So what if Wal Mart exploits local labor?

Why would anyone waste time on these questions?

Most communities don't bother. Local elected officials in little communities everywhere go absolutely ga ga when they get a call from corporate headquarters from our friends at the United States of Exploitable Market Areas... otherwise known as the US of EMA... the real government of North America.

I want my stuff!!! I want it cheap!!! Yes… I want my Wal Mart…

You are getting sleepy… very sleepy…

Go buy some stuff at Wal Mart!!!

Don’t worry… be happy!


NOTE: Of course, regular readers of the Iconoclast recognize sarcasm when they see it. Typically, local officials are idiots and fall all over themselves when dealing with Wal Mart and other recognized "big box" prospects who like to be known as "economic development". Beware... economic development is not about selling a bunch of stupid "stuff" to a culture of adicted consumers who don't really know why they buy the stuff in the first place. Nine times out of ten, the community gets ripped off because local government officials don't require that the prospect pay a fair impact fee. Do most local officials even know about impact fees? You be the judge.

6 Comments:

  • At 11/29/2006 9:38 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    The new wal mart proposed for roanoke county demostrates wal mart's basic philosophy - saturation of the market.

    If I'm correct, I believe there is a wal mart within a few miles of the new proposed wal mart...

    sorry, but that is just plain dumb

     
  • At 11/29/2006 9:58 PM, Blogger Will Vaught said…

    A very astute observation. There is a science to sucking dollars out of the market area. Our friendly executives at Wal Mart central know that science very well.

    I don't really have a beef with Wal Mart, but I am concerned about our culture of waste and consumption... especially at the total disregard for community impacts. Maybe we will just have to learn the hard way.

    Thanks for your quick observation. Pass it around to your friends so we can discuss this matter in more detail.

    Please forgive my sarcasm.

     
  • At 11/29/2006 10:48 PM, Anonymous Simba said…

    I am suprised at your ignorance. God does not shop. She (or he on an outside chance)has people who do that for her.

     
  • At 1/01/2007 9:22 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Some of the local elected officials are knowledgable and think about what they are doing and what impacts their decisions are going to make down the road. Unfortunately, there are some who just do what they are told to do or "incentivized" to do.

     
  • At 1/22/2007 11:43 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    That picture. She looks like my mom!

     
  • At 11/29/2011 4:16 AM, Blogger zeeshan said…

    IF I SEE SOME WHERE BEST POSTS BRO THEN I CAN SAY ITS YOUR BLOG I AM NOT SPAMMING JUST TELLING U THE TRUTH I AM HERE FROM LONG TIME AND INTRESTING IN UR ALL POSTS YOUR SITE IS FABOLUS HTTP://WWW.IMAGESA.BLOGSPOT.COM/
    HTTP://WWW.JAVEDISAAC.BLOGSPOT.COM/

     

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home