The Commonwealth Iconoclast

A site dedicated to covering issues relevant to the Commonwealth of Virginia, and nation at large, plus other interesting things too, as I see fit...

Friday, August 04, 2006

Barney Fife to decide Lunenburg race for office of High Sheriff ?


Ghost of famous lawman decisive factor in special election!

Ectoplasm and Politics in the Old Free State!

Ghosts and goblins…is this fair politics… or what?


Ladies and gentlemen… we are almost on the eve of the final special election for High Sheriff of Lunenburg County.

On August 8th, only a few days away, the good citizens of Lunenburg County will finally decide who will take the office of High Sheriff of Lunenburg County Virginia, the Old Free State of the Confederacy.

Friends tell me… and who am I to doubt it… that Lunenburg County is called the “Old Free State” because when Virginia seceded from the Union in 1861, in anticipation of the late unpleasantness, they seceded for good… forever… and forever…

Yes, there may have been a few minor military set backs… but nothing that would change the minds of the Lunenburgers and their political leadership.

So the story goes, Lunenburg County may have “forgotten” to rejoin the Union after the War of the Rebellion was done.

Technically, Lunenburg County may still remain a sovereign nation separate from the United States of America!

Probably just a clerical error… or something…

Whatever…

The real issue today is the almost unbelievable political drama that is unfolding in Lunenburg County in the special election race for Sheriff in the aftermath of the untimely (and perfectly legal and natural) deaths of the past two Sheriffs.

We now are facing a four way race.

See previous posts for details.

So far, the Iconoclast has elected to not endorse any one candidate. However, we confess to make a great deal of fun of Sheriff Stoots for firing two reputedly competent Deputy Sheriffs after learning that they could be political rivals.

Frankly, Sheriff Stoots has never adequately explained his actions in firing Deputies Moses and Townsend to our satisfaction. Excuses and rationalizations… at best. Dumb knee-jerk reaction by most accounts!

So… with the Iconoclast poll showing that Sheriff Stoots and fired-ex-Deputy Moses in an apparent neck-in-neck race with only a few days remaining before the final vote, we at the Iconoclast are in the awkward position of making a recommendation to the good citizens of Lunenburg County.

We had hoped it wouldn’t come to this but it did…

Given this dilemma, we notice that not too far behind the leaders in this special election (Sheriff Stoots and fired-Deputy Moses) is none other than the Ghost of Deputy Barney Fife.

The Ghost of Deputy Barney Fife. Dare we hope for answers? Yes... We hear you...

Given these most strange circumstances, we at the Iconoclast are inclined to suggest some kind of way for Lunenburg County to come together and heal. There must be some way to move ahead and bring some sense of closure to this very strange situation.

So, we suggest that those who voted for the Ghost of Deputy Barney Fife consider voting for fired-Deputy Moses in the actual election on August 8th.

This is our thinking…

We hope that Sheriff-elect Moses will do the right thing for all concerned. Give fired-Deputy Townsend back his job. He did not deserve being fired by Acting-Sheriff Stoots on highly questionable grounds. This was an act of political retribution.

Furthermore… and this is a big one… the Iconoclast recommends that Sheriff-elect Moses offer to Sheriff Stoots (after losing the election) a job as “Deputy Stoots,” so long as he (Stoots) agrees to carry out the oath of office (none of this “loyalty to the boss” crap).

Deputy Barney Fife was always a “Deputy” and we always loved him. In his hands, the results of the Lunenburg County special election for High Sheriff now rest.

To be perfectly honest, most of us know that Barney Fife is a fictional character played by Don Knots. We are cool with anyone who might differ with our view. But Barney Fife was a great inspiration whether fictional or real or ectoplasm.

Barney… we seek your guidance!

The Iconoclast has no problem in entrusting the results of the Lunenburg County special election to this great lawman.

May the best candidate win…

15 Comments:

  • At 8/04/2006 10:47 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I was recently thinking that maybe Townsend or Moses should back out and endorse the other. This way they could both get their jobs back and then maintain that snake Stoots doesn't win a crappy plurality to hold onto his seat.

     
  • At 8/04/2006 12:54 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Yep, a four way race (five way counting Barney) is a real crap shoot. Voter turn out is going to be a big factor, probably light by regular election standards. It is important that folks who do turn out not waste their votes by splitting them between all four candidates. It seems like the real contest is between Stoots the incumbent and Moses the unfairly fired Deputy. I urge voters to back Moses. Maybe we can then get on with life in Lunenburg.

     
  • At 8/04/2006 2:55 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Whoever wins, lets pray for the health of the next Sheriff. I've had about enough of this mess.

     
  • At 8/08/2006 12:14 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I'm gonna vote for stoots today...and a prediction...Townsend wins handily with a solid black vote and the "school system" white vote

     
  • At 8/08/2006 12:15 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Heavy voting so far...over 300 in the browns store precinct at 11:00 am

     
  • At 8/08/2006 1:27 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Moses for the win! \o/

     
  • At 8/08/2006 1:46 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Anon 12:14...yea, what white person would want to vote for a black guy like Townsend..Integrity, honesty, hard working, professional, and a super nice guy. I assume you'r suggesting that only educated white folks whould vote for Townsend? This should then tell you something...I bet you wish we could go back to the days when those colored folks couldn't vote, right?

    geez, Stoots is a fool. Hopefully he will pay for firing Moses and Townsend. whoever wins, I do hope they hire back the other one, and keep Stoots on to scub floors or something.

    Regarless, Moses or Townsend would be great. This non school employee white guyg will be casting his vote for Mr. Townsend, because he would make a wonderful Sheriff. Period.

     
  • At 8/08/2006 3:21 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    My question is if Townsend wins who will be the sheriff...someone else will be calling the shots...pulling the strings, aka bob hawthorne, robert Clement

     
  • At 8/08/2006 7:53 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    It doesn't appear that the State election board has results...so, what's the word Lunenburg???

     
  • At 8/09/2006 8:41 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Townsend won..

     
  • At 8/09/2006 11:09 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Townsend 1st, Moses 2nd...

    Stoots

    April 2006- August 2006

    R.I.P.

     
  • At 8/09/2006 1:12 PM, Blogger Will Vaught said…

    I have posted a new piece concerning the special sheriff election, based upon the results that have been posted here, can someone post for me actually numbers?

    you can see the piece by goign to our "home page"

    www.commonwealthiconoclast.blogspot.com

    Thanks, WV

     
  • At 8/09/2006 2:05 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Townsend a little more than 1600, Moses a little more than 1200, Stoots a little more than 300, Jackson a little more than 100. Will send exact numbers when they are verified.

     
  • At 8/10/2006 11:03 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Lets do this blog discussion again for the next regular Lunenburg county board of supervisors elections. I see possibilities here that good questions can be addressed at long last.

     
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